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"Sacrifices" -- Rewrite 2

I finished going through the UWG critiques and completed the second rewrite on "Sacrifices" today. After I give it a thorough read, the postman gets it next. So, I'll get a Christmas present from F&SF--and hopefully not an Alasogram. Never know until I send it out.

Interesting bit of trivia here is that this is the longest I've gone before submitting a completed story. First draft was started back in October 2006. Working on it and Only The Dead at the same time, I didn't finish until early January. Initial polish on that draft came to an end this past September. Now I've tightened, reworked some scenes, and ended up with 6,000 words.

The tense shifts I played with at first don't seem to hold up. Where they were obvious, they seemed like bad writing. So there aren't as many as in the initial, but I think it holds together. Won't know for sure until I get editorial feedback. ;-)

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